Sunday, May 29, 2016

This might take a little while...

It is Sunday night. I have dinner heating on the stove, thanks to a friend from church. My kids are out playing in mud, dug up courtesy of Nala, put somewhat back in place today by me and Jori. I went to see Darin this afternoon. I think finally knowing the results of the scan have relieved a lot of stress from him. We are so thankful there is NO sign of bleeding anywhere, not even any of the blood from the first scan. He is still experiencing head pain, which is worse with loud, or even semi loud noise, light, and movement, but no blood is still great news. We are hopeful he will be able to come home on Tuesday.

When we first heard he would be released Tuesday, I think both of us thought "Good, and then it will be life as usual", but we have quickly realized that it is going to take a little while for things to get back to normal. Darin is tired. He is able to get up and walk around a bit, but the effort wears him out. We managed a bath this afternoon, hauling hot water from a sink in one room to the tub down the hall in another (we had good practice with that at our house!!). He was so happy to finally soak and it felt so good on his back, but he sent me a message a while ago saying he wouldn't be able to stay awake for supper. He was barely awake when he left the message!

Tyson and Jori have big plans for their dad when he gets home: helping with math homework, building a basketball hoop, putting together a dog house, watching movies, and just having dad around to talk to. I have been trying to prepare them for a daddy who will need some time to get back his strength, a daddy who cannot handle loud noises or a lot of activity, a daddy who is going to need space and quiet and time to heal.

We are just going to have to learn to take it easy, to work on our communication, to find ways to keep the kids occupied, and to just keep trusting and taking things one day at a time. Thank you all for your prayers so far, please don't stop now!

Saturday, May 28, 2016

facebook update Saturday

Saturday Early Evening: Today was the Fun Run. Jori had a good time running the 5k. I even managed to get a couple pictures. Will they ever be posted...time will tell! They had some fun activities for the kids as well, so they enjoyed spending their early birthday money.
After being home for about an hour, we headed to the hospital so the kids could see their dad! I think that their expectations and the reality were two totally different things. Tyson said "Dad, you don't look the same". Jori just hugged her daddy's shoulder. Unfortunately, he wasn't feeling well and needed to lay down, so after just a couple minutes, I went back to his room with him (kids can't be in the room because of risk of infection to them, so Darin had to come to the waiting area on the ward). We talked for a bit, him with his eyes closed just to keep the head pain from worsening.
We did talk to one of the nurses as Darin hadn't had any news about the CT scan (oh yes, it finally happened after 9 last night, and I only saw his message this morning). She said the doctor had seen it that morning and if there had been anything serious, he would have told her. The scan was digital and she didn't have the passcode to look at it, or she would have tried helping us more. She was hoping the doctor would be back around tonight (1 doctor on the weekend for 4 wards, emergency, and brain related surgeries) if he wasn't doing a procedure, and she would get more information.
Darin came out once more to say goodbye to the kids. They were ready to leave, feeling antsy and I think a bit off kilter by seeing their big strong dad looking and feeling so tired.
Now we are home. I am exhausted. I need a little break from my kids, but this is when they need me most, so I need to dig deep and trust that God is enough and will provide what I cannot give to my children on my own - peace, rest, a quietness of spirit and a love that never grows tired or weary or needs another cup of coffee.

Friday, May 27, 2016

Update from Facebook

Friday afternoon: no news. That's good news, right? Darin is really tired. He sleeps in about 15-20 minute stretches all night, which means he is also sleeping in 15-20 minute stretches all day. Talking and being on his phone makes his head a bit sore, so when his worried wife leaves him yet another message saying "how are you?!?!?!" she just might get kind of a terse reply from her main man,who will remain her main man in sickness and health, crabbiness and happiness.
I asked him if Sunday night was a 10 on the pain scale and your normal self is a 1, where are you at now. The answer is 3 1/2 folks!! So that is positive, but there are times when the head pain starts up again. He is also sore from laying in bed, sore from being in a hospital bed, sore from not being in a normal routine, so it is hard to judge how much of the pain and discomfort is from what happened and how much is just from not sleeping and being in a hospital and not home.
Tyson is not feeling the best, so we didn't go to see Darin today. Friends from church are going tonight, so we are thankful for all of those who stand in the gap in so many ways. Tomorrow the kids have a fun day at school. Jori is running a 5k at 8 in the morning, which means we all need to get to bed on time tonight!
We do hope that the scan will happen today. A second doctor had come by this morning, saw the note from yesterday that Darin was supposed to have a scan and also saw that this hadn't happened yet. So, he told another doctor to make sure that it happened today... Time will tell! Keep praying!

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Please Pray

So, some of you already know from Facebook and the Dutch underground (if you know about it, you are in it), that Darin is in the hospital. He went in late Sunday night with a severe headache or sudden onset. After a couple scans, it was determined he had some bleeding in/on the brain. He had an angiogram sometime on Monday and they could not find a spot to fix, no aneurysm or burst vessel, just blood. So we are praising God that no surgery is needed at this time.

It is now Thursday afternoon. Darin is waiting to go in for another scan as he started having more pain in his head today and sensitivity to light. I am assuming he is getting the scan now as I can't get through on his phone.

My friends, the waiting is hard. Keeping my mind from the what ifs is hard. So many people are praying, for Darin, for me, for the kids and we thank you. Please don't stop.

Darin will be in hospital until at least Tuesday, so we have a few more days of waiting and wondering and what ifs ahead of us. The brain is a beautifully, complicated gift of God, and dealing with it is also beautifully complicated. We are thankful no surgery is needed, but understandably this leaves us wondering why the bleed occurred in the first place. Darin is already talking about giving up Pepsi Max as maybe his bottle a day addiction has caused some problems :)

All kidding aside, we have a road to walk now that is unknown. We are so thankful for the prayers and well wishes.

Darin is in a good place. It is a teaching hospital and they have equipment and specialists and all the other things that a Western hospital would have. The kids are being well looked after by teachers and other friends from Bethesda as visiting hours coincide with the end of the school day. Nala is being a pain in the butt, eating shoes, puking up grass and other such nonsense, but I am thankful to have a good watchdog! I am doing just fine. I think I am on autopilot and that is OK for now.

My prayer is that this whole thing will be used for God's glory. That all praise will go to Him when there is good news, and that our trust will be in Him in the waiting. No matter what, He is good. I pray that I will be able to speak life and truth to the kids during this time, to be aware enough and awake enough to hear their hearts and speak God's love over them. I want this to be a turning point, something that grows in all of us deeper love for each other and deeper love for God.

Thanks for lifting us up and praying us through.

Monday, May 16, 2016

Juggling

Sometimes I feel like I am juggling so many different things that I might have forgotten about a few of them. I go through my days juggling away, but am waiting for one or two of the forgotten “balls” to come down and hit me on the head. Did I remember to sign my kids up for holiday club? Does Tyson need immunizations this year? Did I set up an eye appointment to replace my very scratched glasses? Did I tell that child they could have a sleepover this weekend? Did I tell that person to come and collect food, applications, clothes, etc. from the distribution centre today? Did I let Ivy know they are coming or was I supposed to be there? I sent that company a thank-you letter for their donation, right? And the little boy who is waiting to go to crèche, do I have the banking details necessary to make that happen? Have I planned supper and do I even have groceries in the house to make something palatable? Were we supposed to have Nala spayed in April or May? Can we put it off til June? When does the holiday start and is anyone coming to visit? Did I tell Pastor Norman or Pastor Robert that I would be coming to their centre this week? Or did I tell both of them? Or was it supposed to be last week?

I keep lists, but sometimes I also lose lists. I keep lists, but some of those lists never make it from my head to a piece of paper. Sometimes I think I have taken care of something on my list and realize it was only a dream. There are things I need to do, things I have to do, things I want to do. There are lists for my family, the Build Hope families, the centres, my role as communications manager, the house, and then lists of thoughts and ideas that sound great, but the time man. Where do you find the time?


I feel like I am managing, my juggling skills seem to be sufficient for now. I know His mercies are new every morning and I am confident that God has been keeping a lot of those balls from crashing down through His grace. I am guessing I am not the only one in this predicament. Mothers of littles, working mamas, people at home and abroad; we all have lists to complete and things we juggle. It is just the way of life. Sometimes we take on too much and things do start to come apart at the seams. Our whole life starts to feel like a circus act. It is a definite balancing act, this life we are all in. Don’t miss out on the good stuff because you are afraid of not having enough time for the rest, but don’t miss out on the best stuff out of some misguided belief that it all depends on you. 

Our January so far

Tomorrow our baby girl is starting Grade 7!!!! How is that even possible? Jori and I had plans to get pedicures over the school holidays, an...